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Just an Ordinary Man with Anxiety

Hi everyone! I’m Rick. I’m a 25 year old dealing with anxiety. 

My anxiety intensified since life went downhill. I’m sure everyone experienced lows where they feel overwhelmed. I was confused and unsure what the future awaits. My ideas for an ideal future shattered as plan after plan failed. Suicide might have crossed my mind if I hadn’t attempted to take my life earlier in my childhood but that’s a whole different story. 

My life went downhill the moment I entered university. I was young then. Yes, I do sound old but anxiety does that to you. I thought higher education was my solution to a better life while a voice inside me told me it’s not. I never listened to that voice because I was too busy trying to meet the expectations of my parents and people around me. By ignoring that voice, I walked into a storm and didn’t realize it until I was caught in the center of it. 

I was no different from so many others around my age at the time. We were young and were told about the jobs we’ll get once we finish school. We were optimistic about our future and overestimate what we can accomplish. We thought life would go according to plan and nothing can get in our way. Life doesn’t work that way and I, like so many others, learned it the hard way. The storm was a wake-up call I needed for life itself. 

In our lives, we must learn to do what makes us happy. We cannot please everyone in life and I tried to please my parents by being the son they wanted. I walked a road that was never mine to begin with and things went downhill very quickly. Poor grades, failed courses and inability to find internships were the red flags regarding my decision. I thought it was all over when my higher education was threatened. 

These setbacks brought major changes to my lives. I searched for a way out and, in doing so, learned more about myself. I also listened to that voice inside me that I ignored for much of my life. Some people might say I have changed. I personally think that I did the opposite. I stopped the changes aimed to reach expectations of those around me and walked the path that I wanted all along. 

In our present day society, expectation can be a terrible thing. We are all expected to do certain things from a young age. In doing so, we forget to learn who we are and what we want in our lives. When we work so hard to be someone we’re not, only pain and suffering awaits us. After all, we aren’t anyone except for the mask we wear in public and the act we put up to fool other people.


What do you think?


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Written by dwaan

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