You know, sometimes when you watch a creepy horror movie it’s kind of a little bit scary to sit alone in the room because you’re feeling terrified. You feel like something is going to jump out from the dark corner and kill you on the spot.
This case was the opposite of it. No, I didn’t attack the monster in the dark corner. What I mean is that I didn’t watch any scary movies before going to bed. It was just a lovely evening like many others where I would spend my time watching youtube videos, procrastinating and just chilling. As the time passed, I felt sleepy. It’s was time to go to bed.
The Sudden Burst Of Anxiety
When I turned off the lights, the goosebumps flashed all over my body. I felt scared as hell. The darkness of the room felt intimidating. I used to be afraid of darkness when I was a kid but that thing has long gone. I wasn’t afraid of darkness at that moment. I was just afraid.
I tried to ignore that feeling, and so I made my way to the bed. I laid. Put the cover on me. I turned my face to the wall because I felt that I don’t want to be facing the open darkroom in its overwhelmingly horrible state. I felt worried, anxious, terrified. What was that I was afraid of?
I just didn’t feel okay. I suddenly felt that my life doesn’t make any sense and it’s not even going anywhere. It was another evening just like many others and that’s what was so overwhelming about it.
So, here I was. Lying face to the wall, afraid to roll over from side to side because I was scared to face something that I didn’t even know about.
What did I do?
I tried to make fun of myself and be like “Oh, why am I afraid? What’s that thing that scares me? C’mon. This is ridiculous”. It didn’t help. The anxiety was floating in the air like a massive cloud of darkness, and I felt that. I also felt that it was in my head, the dark room isn’t the issue at all.
I tried to think about it again. I thought “Well, really, it’s getting mental”. And so I turned. I didn’t see any threat just like I expected. It was not that scary. I felt disappointed.
I stood up, put on the clothes, and turned on the lights. It felt okay. For some reason, I felt fine. A bit miserable because of where my life was going, but I felt fine. I knew that when the day comes I just need to keep doing my thing no matter what. To give you a broader context, I got fired, and I needed to recover from it and find another job.
So, when I was lying in my bed, afraid to turn, I learned a lesson about the state of anxiety and being worried about things.
The Lesson That I Learned About Anxiety
When you’re afraid of something that you don’t know and there is nothing that makes you excited, there is only one way to overcome this state. Turn off your brain. Don’t think more than necessary.
If what you’re about to do requires a single action. Turn off your mind and do it. There is no wrong choice. There are only various scenarios that your life that can be developing towards. Just like a quest in an RPG game. You make a choice and you’ve got a different plot coming in. It doesn’t kill you, but it does change the way you live your life.
If, however, your goal requires constant effort and some rough understanding (strategy) of how to do it, then plan ahead a little. Take a pen and paper and sketch out the ideas or milestones that you want to achieve, and then guess what? Turn off your brain. Make a plan, stick to the plan. That’s it.
I knew that the cause of my anxiety was because I got fired. I was analyzing why it happened and what I can improve not to get in the same situation again. It was pressing on me for at least 3 days. And I could feel sudden drops in the mood and anxiety bursts. But I knew my price and my skills. And I was ready to be committed to take another chance to get employed and start everything from scratch. Not a big deal.
When anxiety hits you out of nowhere you must understand that it actually does come from somewhere. And you know where it comes from. Sometimes the best way to overcome anxiety is to embrace your feelings and just do what you have to do regardless of the consequences.
Because when you think about consequences, what is the worst thing that can happen to you? Well, not much.